37:38 Henry VIII

Day 37 of 38:38
Henry VIII

Okay, I have a confession to make. You all know how much I love, adore, and worship Shakespeare. That being said, this is a bad play. Shakespeare et al. have taken a story which has inflamed the imagination of multitudes of writers and made it completely boring. There's no sex, no intrigue, no flirting, no backstabbing. These fascinating and devilish characters are completely flattened in this story.

And yes, I can tell why. Clearly no one wants to piss off Queen Elizabeth. Even Anne Boleyn, a notoriously hated woman, is relatively noble in this play, simply because she was Elizabeth's mother and therefore has to be. But seriously, Shakespeare, did you really need money that badly? You must have. I mean check out this repeated white-washing of Anne

Suffolk She is a gallant creature, and complete
In mind and feature: I persuade me, from her
Will fall some blessing to this land, which shall
In it be memorized.

Cause no, that's not obvious at all...

And then Cardinal Wosley, though clearly against the King marrying Anne, still says "What though I know her virtuous / And well deserving?"

Lovell She's a good creature, and, sweet lady, does
Deserve our better wishes.

And I'm not saying that I think Anne Boleyn was the spawn of Satan brought about on this Earth to destroy England. But I will say that in this play she is worse, that is, she is boring. Even Cardinal Wolsey, as much the villain of the piece as anyone else, is a pussy.

Anyone want to try and argue anything positive about this play?

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Favorite Female Character:
Queen Katharine
Favorite Male Character:
Cardinal Wolsey

Laugh out loud:
Lord Chamberlain It seems the marriage with his brother's wife
Has crept too near his conscience.
Suffolk No; his conscience
Has crept too near another lady.

"That's what she said!":
Lovell O that your lordship were but now confessor
To one or two of these!
Lord Sandys I would I were;
They should find easy penance.
Lovell Faith, how easy?
Lord Sandys As easy as a down-bed would afford it.

How insulting:
Cardinal Wolsey You have as little honesty as honor

Shakey loves his meta:
Surveyor I would have played
The part my father meant to act upon
The usurper Richard.

Oh, misogyny:
Wolsey thou hast forced me
Out of thy honest truth, to play the woman.
Let's dry our eyes.

Boys are silly:

Favorite Moment/Line: